Orgasms, Vibrators and Menopause

By Jennifer Upton

NOTE: The links in this article are not affiliate links. mySysters does not receive any commission if you click on these links or purchase any products mentioned in this article.


There are many misconceptions regarding whether or not a woman can achieve orgasm after menopause.

During perimenopause and menopause, your estrogen levels can fluctuate wildly or drop quickly.

As a result:

  • Your body sends a signal to your vagina to get less blood.
  • Your vagina may become drier and less sensitive if there isn’t the same amount of blood
  • flow
  • Sex may become uncomfortable or painful
  • Some may experience increased urinary tract infections (UTIs).

This is why some women find sex more unpleasant, take longer to climax, or feel less eager to participate in sexual activities.

Five-percent (5%) of women who took part in a national poll conducted by The North American Menopause Society (NAMS) said they were worried about their capacity to orgasm.

Hormonal changes may make it more challenging to arouse or experience an orgasm.

Whether you have a partner or not, the market is currently overflowing with products to help people reach “the big O.”

Gone are the days of the one-size-fits all old school foam rubber phalli, although you can find them online and in shops if you really want to go full Dirk Diggler.

They come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors, made from every material from leather to rose quartz.


They’ve been outselling the competition for years.

The sex toy industry as a whole is worth 35.2 billion U.S. dollars in 2023 and is projected to double in size to 62.3 billion by 2030.

The choices in today’s sex toy 2023 are better, faster and stronger – a true bionic man.

One delivered right to your door in discreet packaging, eliminating the need for that potentially embarrassing trip to the adult store in person.

I’ll never forget the time in 2015, I walked past one in Soho on a Saturday night in London and saw a giant billboard of Lemmy from the band Motörhead promoting their new line of sex toys.

Good Housekeeping UK’s top 5 vibrators for 2023 are listed as:


The ladies of Reddit have an entirely different list.

Tracy’s Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

A device so strong that it got a write-up in Glamour and reviews on Amazon written by one lady who passed out, another who said, “I’m pretty sure I levitated,” and third who said, “It cured my depression, I don’t go to therapy anymore.”

Is she exaggerating?

Science shows orgasms can improve mood due to the release of:

  • dopamine
  • oxytocin
  • endorphins

These can also relax the muscles, relieve cramps and improve sleep. There really is no downside.

The Hitachi Magic Wand The reviews advise against buying cheaper imitation brands of this device.

It is considered the original and best of this design with one reviewer glowing, “ I’ve owned my fair share of toys and can say this is the one thing I’ve bought that I passionately believe everyone should Own.”

Womanizer Clitoral Suction Vibe “Inexpensive, convenient, simulates oral sex. ‘Nuff said!”

Lelo Sila Clitoral Massager The Sila uses sonic waves, has an extra-large “mouth” and is made from extra-soft silicone. Excuse me while I add this to my wish list.

The Rosetoy This one certainly is beautiful.

Another clitoral suction device, it resembles a rose and comes in a variety of colors.

One reviewer discovered she was mutli-orgasmic with this toy. There are a lot of sites claiming to be the original rose toy site so you might want to purchase this one from your regular store. The link above is to Tracy’s Dog.


Knowing how to properly clean sex toys is crucial.

Devices such as vibrators, dildos, and anal beads or butt plugs come into contact with bodily fluids.

It’s not difficult to clean your sex toys, but the repercussions of not doing so could be harmful or land you at the doctor’s office.

To clean your toy, first make sure it’s waterproof, then you can use any of the following:

  • hot water and soap
  • boiling water
  • bleach and water mix
  • antibacterial wipes (not as thorough as the others but works for quick clean-up to remove
  • excess lube or body fluids)
  • Put them in the dishwasher (make sure it’s not the kids’ turn to empty the diswasher!)
  • Lay them out to dry
  • Store them in a fabric bag to keep them clean for the next date night with yourself or
  • someone you love!**

For those with sensitive or dry skin or those that suffer from recurrent or frequent UTIs it’s even more important to keep anal play and vaginal play separate.

Some people use condoms on their toys in these situations but it’s best to make sure both you and all your toys are cleaned before and after playtime.

Those with sensitive urethras who may be prone to frequent UTIs should use a barrier between you and the toy such as:

  • Underwear
  • A clean tissue or cloth
  • A moist baby wipe or face wipe

Your level of happiness, comfort, and safety are most important.

Now that you have a list of possible toys and how to care for them (and you), there’s only one thing left to do…go have fun!

mySysters is an app for women in perimenopause and menopause. Good Housekeeping and Woman’s Day named mySysters the Best App for Women in Perimenopause and a Must Have App for Women.

The information and other content provided in this blog, website or in any linked materials are not intended and should not be considered, or used as a substitute for, medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Jennifer Upton is an American (non-werewolf) writer/editor in London. She currently works as a freelance ghostwriter of personal memoirs and writes for several blogs on topics as diverse as film history, punk rock, women’s issues, and international politics. For links to her work, please visit or send her a Tweet @Jennxldn

Sources: vibrators-sex-toys/ midlife/decreased-response-and-pleasure